Religious Affections?!?

Emotions are powerful and dangerous things! This is especially true when the emotions pertain to our love for and devotion to God. Throughout my years as a Christian I have try to stay away from the emotional side of my relationship with God. Emotions can't be trusted. I have seen them fail me far to many times. I could be watching a video about foreign missions and hear of the suffering occurring in that country, or I hear a poignant song at an opportune time and these things set my heart aflame, only to be quenched back to ambers the next morning when "life" starts back. The emotions never last. But I am currently learning that they are very necessary.

God is dealing with me on some major issues and fanning the flame of my heart in some very real ways. Not in the ways of the stirring song or touching video, but in a way where my emotions are linked directly to my relationship with my God. This very different experience for me. I can relate to and deal with the fair-weather emotions that rise and fall with my circumstances and situations, because I know that they don't last. But, with this new work of God, I am finding my TRUE joy, happiness, hope, sadness, and grief in Christ alone. This, I'm having a hard time getting used to and wrapping my head around. Before the flippant emotions called for no "real" change for the sake of the gospel. The moving video would cause me to desire for a day or so to go to the unreached people or to give abundantly to the work of missions, but the feeling would burn out. This was very frustrating to me, because these things are the desire of God and therefore must be my desire as well. I just couldn't muster up or sustain the feeling. The fact though is that emotions should play a very real part of our relationship with God. I believe that every jot and tittle of the Bible is true and meant for a purpose in our lives. Therefore, when Jesus declared that, "true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth," he was showing us that our emotions should be included in our faith in Him. But, it also shows us that our emotions are not to be running on their on. They must be coupled and founded on truth, the Bible. This has been the difference in these current emotions felt for God and His word. They have not come by some video or song, but by seeing Jesus in my time with Him. I have not been studying the word to gain knowledge about HIm, which we should do, but that's another post, but studying to see HIm, to know Him. These times of seeing Jesus has transformed into a continual communing with the Him. When my mind is not engaged in some task with work or daily life, it is finding it's way back to Him. I thank God for this work he is doing in my heart, and at the time it scares me. I was comfortable with the way my relationship with God was going, not very happy, but comfortable. I am now finding great joy in a life of uncomfortableness.

So, even though emotions are dangerous, they are important. I just have to remember to filter them with God's word. And better yet, I must seek the emotions that are found in a life focused on Him, His word and His purposes, not trying to live off the fast burning flames that is ignited by a video or song.


Note: This is not the way I originally thought this post would come out. I had plan to write more about the issue of the disconnection of our emotions (spirit) and doctrine (truth) and why they must go together. But, as I have been muling this post around for the last few weeks, I could not really bring together what God is currently doing in my life. I guess He brought it together for me. :) May God use this for His glory and our good.

Wasted Life?

I have been reading "Don't Waste Your Life" by John Piper. If any of you have ever read anything from Piper you know that the act of reading becomes less like a leisure activity and more like getting hit in the face with a 2x4, enjoying it, and asking for another. God is truly using Pastor Piper and his words to ignite souls for HIm and His kingdom. As I read Piper's words in this book, I can not help but feel that I have wasted a large portion of my life. I have spent countless hours in front of the TV in the name of rest. I have chosen to use my money to purchase the biggest and the best, when the "regular" version would have been more than I needed. I have convinced myself that it is better to keep my money for my family rather than give it away for the furtherance of God's kingdom. I have also taken very few risks for the gospel's sake. I think there were times during college and a few sprinkled around through adult life where I truly made life decisions with nothing but God's glory in mind. I have become great at convincing myself that praying about a decision once or twice means that I have made it with God in mind. I think a great majority of the Church, especially in America, has become this way. We pay lip-service to God in the form of prayer and the occasional seeking of guidance to make someone else knows that we "sought" God. Only to make the decision that makes us feel good, or that we feel is "best" for our family. Rarely do we face life's opportunities, struggles, or decisions with the same mindset as Paul, "Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I [and those around me] may gain Christ." (Phil 3:8 extra phrase added based on Paul's other writings)

When we come to faith in Christ it is not a call to come, get your fire insurance and life how you choose with a little God and church sprinkled in. It is a call to come a DIE. To come and die to ourselves, to our dreams, and to the world around us. This is not to say that our thoughts and dreams our tossed out the window, but that we hold them from now on with an open hand. We then choose to pursue them only after answering these question: "Is this dream/decision/job opportunity/purchase/etc going to help me make much of Christ? Will this _______ show people around me that Christ is my Treasure above all else?"
This kind of thinking goes against everything we have been taught. We have learned from society, the media, even our parents, that we must go after everything we want and it doesn't "really" matter who get hurts in the process. We need the biggest and the best of everything.

I pray that the Church and I will begin to take great risks for God and His kingdom. May we not waste our lives in the pursuit of things that will not last, only to find out that the God that we set aside would have brought us the greatest joy and happiness we could have ever imagined.

A Walk in the Woods

I took my two boys for a walk in the woods a few days ago and was completely blind-sided by God. As we walked, dodging limbs and briers, stepping over fallen trees, and crunching through the Fall leaves I was ravaged on my insides by the actions of my four year old.

As we walked around admiring God's creation I was struck by how enthralled my oldest son was by the colors and beauty of the leaves. He dashed around from tree to tree completely engulfed by looking at and describing each leaf's own intricacies. He would call out from this tree, "look daddy, this one is bright yellow with spots of red." Then from another, "wow, this one is dark red, but it also has brown polka dots." These words describe the actions that continued for the next 30 - 45 mins. I could barley get him out of the woods. By God's grace it began to drizzle or I think we would still be there. During this time of watching my son's amazement, I was able to talk with him about how God had made the leaves and that he loves it when we enjoy them. As I talked to my son about God, God talked to me about my heart, and how I was currently being rebuked, unintentionally, by the actions of a four year old. The thought that kept running through my mind was the fact that it has been years since I have looked at any of God's doings with this kind of amazement and found this much joy in God.

God has called me into a relationship with him, not just for my salvation, but also for the fulfillment of my life. "I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." (John 10:10) This verse does not speak of material wealth and prosperity, but of the joy that is only found in a God who loves me completely. And more importantly His redemption for me is ultimately for His glory. But, because of the greatness of our God our full and complete joy is found in our glorification of Him, because that is our created purpose. Our ultimate happiness is found in the giving up of ourselves and the taking on of the cloak of righteousness that is placed on us by Christ alone.

After pondering on these things throughout the rest of that day I realized that I had allowed my growth in Christ to become a burden. Just another list of "to-do's" that I needed to check off. But this thought and feeling toward my sanctification flies in the face of God and his desire for our relationship. A few days after our walk in the woods, my four year old come upon another leaf is his grandmother's yard. Again with the same excitement he poured over the look and feel of the leaf and then turned and said, "Daddy, I need to keep this leaf to remind me that God made the leaves, and that I need to enjoy them." I pray that I would rekindle and hold to the excitement and joy in God that my son as showed in his amazement of these leaves. I must begin everyday with God's word, it must become my leaf that I need to keep that reminds me that I was made for God's glory and that my glorification of Him is where I find my eternal joy and purpose.

So here we go.....

I have recently been re-listening to Pastor John Piper's talks on great men of the faith entitled, "Men Whom the World is Not Worth." While listening to him layout and describe these men's lives I began to notice a particular discipline that was consistent in all of them. They wrote! Some wrote for themselves, some for others in the form of published books, but all wrote for and about their growth and maturity in Christ. During Pastor Piper's talks he spends a large amount of time discussing this discipline in each of the men's lives, and also expounds on the discipline of writing himself. He goes so far as to say that true learning only happens when pencil hits paper, or in this case fingers hit the keyboard. So here I am, wireless keyboard in hand, writing. I am writing for writing sake, for my sake, and for my growth in the glory of my Christ.

As you will soon learn, if you so choose to read through these ramblings, that they will mostly be just that. Ramblings. I am a man of many things, and one of those is A.D.D. Because of this my trains of thought get derailed quite often. I have come to terms with the fact that I cannot sustain a single thought for more than a few seconds without it being completely blindsided by some other arbitrary thought that comes screaming into my conscious. Usually something completely off current subject like, "I wonder how that mark got that high on the wall." One of the hopes I have for this discipline of writing is that it will help me finishing and more accurately process the thoughts and passions that God would lay on my heart.

So, all of this being said, this is where the name comes from. This truly will be "Thoughts of a Disjointed Mind." I hope and pray that God uses these times of writing for His glory and my growth. I also pray that God would pour out His grace on these words that they may push, pull, or shove you closer to Him, the God of all creation and the giver of all joy.